| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2007|01:28 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | computer room | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Never again"--Kelly Clarkson | ] |
So I did it again...maybe one day I will learn :( |
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| I wanna be there for you... |
[May. 13th, 2007|12:47 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my house | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "My heart"-- Paramore | ] |
It's late and I should be in bed but instead I am taking the only free time I have to update you on my life. Here it goes...
- I have been working 15 hour days between substitute teaching and walmart. I work 8a-3p subbing and then 4-11p at walmart. It is really exhausting and if I keep it up its going to kill me. I don't have any free time and all I do is work. Its not much fun. I have been in Cville for a week and have done nothing but work and haven't seen anybody. That needs to change. Can't wait for the school year to be over!! I am not really liking the summer so far. It sucks!!
- Had my volunteering interview at Riley and I go back for orientation next Thursday. I am going to split my day between 2 of the 3 hospitals: Methodist, IU, and Riley. I will be going room to room and visiting with the patients and bringing them snacks and books and just giving them someone to talk to. I will do it once a week. I am really excited about it. I think it will be a really good experience especially since I want to become a doctor. I will be in the environment I need to be in and I will be brightening someone's day. Can't wait to start!
- I have to start applying for medical school now and I am nervous about it. I hope I get accepted. I retake my MCAT in July so I need to study a lot and get a lot better score than last time. I am just so busy and there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to do anything. I am beginning to stress out. Say a prayer for me, I need it.
- I miss a certain someone a lot right now. Its definitely been a change from seeing him every single day to being only able to talk to him on the phone and online. It stinks! I am so thankful God brought him into my life because he has been such a positive thing. I really feel God put him in my life for a reason. It so amazing how when you are not looking, God brings someone to you. It has definitely been a change. He wants to talk to me and spend time with me and be there. He truly cares about me, and treats me the way I deserve to be treated. He does the sweetest things. He makes me so incredibly happy, its the greatest. I love being around him even when we are doing nothing at all. When he is around, all I can do is smile and feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I care about him so much and I really hope things dont change since we are so far apart because I like how we are right now. I want to keep him forever ;) I can't wait until I get to go visit. It will be the most amazing thing ever!! I am counting down the days...
Well it's bedtime for me. I am in Cville all summer so get ahold of me. I definitely need stuff to do to keep me entertained in this town lol So thrilled to be back...not. I will try to update more often so look for those :) NIGHT |
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| Ohh la la ... |
[Apr. 25th, 2007|12:32 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt at USI | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "rain on me"--ashanti | ] |
| Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover | 
You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.
You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.
Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover. |
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| Change of plans... |
[Mar. 2nd, 2007|07:58 am] |
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So scratch what I said last entry. I won't be home all week in C'ville cause I will be in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I am so excited!! Going with my aunt and cousin to relax on the beach. I leave on Monday will be back on Friday so i will only be in C'ville this Sunday and then Friday-Sunday so if you want hang got to get ahold of me then. I can't wait for a vacation! |
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| Finally.... |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|09:27 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt as usual | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Tears Don't Fall"--Bullet for My Valentine | ] |
I am finally happy. I really am. I have people in my life who I love being around and spending time with, that make me smile. Its amazing! Life is so much better when you are enjoying it. The pain has slowly subsided and I am not letting you control my life and emotions anymore. It took awhile but now I am allowing myself to be happy. :)
Two tests to go and then I am back in Crawfordsville for a whole week. Yay for spring break I guess although I am not going anywhere exciting. This weekend I will be in bloomington for a concert but Sunday I will be home. Working at Walmart and substitute teaching is the excitement of my life next week. Don't you wish you were me? hah Guess it is better than having to go to class. So anyone that wants to hang while I am home, make the cell ring! Someone's got to keep me entertained while I am there or I might go crazy!! Can't wait to see all of my friends soon. |
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| What if he is your prince charming but you are not his cinderella? |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|10:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt at USI | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Maybe" Secondhand Serenade | ] |
It sucks to realize that everything you ever thought was real was just a lie. How is it possible to love someone yet that person not have that love for you? The pain is sometimes unbearable when it hits me that he can so easily erase me from his mind, his heart, his life, and yet I am sitting here wishing I could have just one more minute of happiness with him. Its false hope that I live with each day because deep down I know its over. I know no matter how much I try, he's still going to look at me like I am any ordinary person, not someone he loves and is his world. Maybe he will never look at me again with that look of amazement and love, that look that lets me know he is only looking at me and nothing else around him matters. I am no longer his only, his everything. There are moments when I wonder, if that very moment he is sitting thinking of me, if my face has crossed his mind in the slightest bit, that maybe I am still in his thoughts because he is in mine. I need to make myself not need him, to not love him. Its hard to let go of something when you know how happy it once made you. How did almost 3 years of friendship become something so painful? Its so easy for him to ignore me, to go weeks without acknowledging my existence, and yet he tries to tell me that he cares. I don't understand how someone who cares so much can disappear so quickly. I can't continue to play games because each time I allow myself to let him back in the tiniest bit, I end up hurt, and my heart just breaks again. Its a continuous cycle that I can't let keep happening. It will hurt to take him out of my life but it will hurt worse to continue to believe he loves me when he doesn't. Apparently I am not what he wants, what he needs. My love is not enough to make him happy, I am not enough. I only wish that I was. I wish I could change everything, that I could make it better but I don't know how. I have done all that I know to do, and I am still sitting here alone, and I guess that is where I will stay. I will be here, trying to let my heart heal and my mind forget about him. I never thought it would come to this but apparently this is how he wants it, his life without me. I just hope in the end, for him, it was all worth it and that he is happy. As hard as it is to say thats truly what I want, is him to be happy even if it is without me. I just hope that one day I will find my happiness and be able to keep it forever, not for only a little while like I have been. Love is an amazing feeling but it hurts like hell when it is gone. As much as I try to hold on, it seems to let go, and I have to teach myself to heal all over again. And so I must again. Love never completely goes away you just learn to hide it and bury somewhere where you can't let it hurt you again.
If you truly care and love me, show me now, tell me now, before it is too late and I am gone...
I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go
Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
and I was crying alone tonight
and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
better than it ever was |
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| Superbowl |
[Feb. 8th, 2007|12:17 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apartment | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Tell Me"-- Dropping Daylight | ] |
So I am a little behind on this but I am a very busy woman and haven't had time to write. The Colts won the freaking Superbowl and it was amazing! We are world champions!! I have never been more excited about anything ever. It was an awesome game and nobody deserves it more than them. I am so happy!
I knew they were going to win.
This is my favorite pic from the Superbowl. He is so gorgeous ha Nobody is better!! I think I am in love ;)
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| COLTS!!!! |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | screaming colts fans outside my apt | ] |
COLTS ARE GOING TO THE FREAKING SUPER BOWL!!! GO BACK TO NEW ENGLAND AND WATCH IT ON TV PATRIOTS B/C YOU LOST HA. GO COLTS!! PEYTON IS GOING TO GET HIS RING :) |
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| I will be the death of you..... |
[Dec. 13th, 2006|02:32 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt as usual | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Stay with Me"--Danity Kane | ] |
So 2 more days and I am home. I have a mix of emotions right now about it. I am excited, nervous, worried, scared. I dont know what all to expect and what all will happen. All that I do hope is that I have an amazing break with the people I truly love and care about because I haven't seen them in months now. If you want to hang with me, make my cell phone ring. I will be working some hours at Wally World, yay rah ha, so you might be able to catch me out there, but other than that I will be filling my break with a lot of fun times :) Call me!!
I still love you and am waiting here for you.... |
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| Stay with me.... |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|08:22 am] |
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I am SO tired. Why can't I just be sure? I don't know what to expect.... |
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| You don't know me, you don't wear my chains.... |
[Dec. 4th, 2006|12:25 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apartment at USI | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Its Not Over" --Daughtry | ] |
Life is:
confusing
stressful
busy
scary
heartbreaking
tiring
emotional
a new adventure every day that sometimes I wish I wasn't experiencing
I hate caring because it makes me crazy. All I want to do is be there. I just want you to hold me again and tell me everything will be all right because in your arms is where I felt the safest and most loved. I sit here wishing the phone would ring and it would be you saying you are sorry and that I am the one you want and need in your life more than anything and that you love me, but the phone doesn't ring. Maybe it is wishful thinking. Maybe I have lost everything I have wanted forever, for good. I don't know what I would do then, if I knew there was no hope and I had to let go. My heart would shatter into millions of pieces and I am not sure if it would ever heal. How could I let go of something that I love and thought I would have forever? I hope I never have to know. I want and need to know everything is ok and is going to be better. Every moment that I am away my heart aches, every moment that I live knowing you are not mine kills me. I sit in wonder what you are thinking, if your thoughts are full of me like mine are of you and if you wish I was there lying beside you. There is not a place I would rather be right now than there right next to you. I love you and it has taken this whole experience to make me realize how much. I hate the thought of you being with someone else, of someone else having your attention, the attention that is meant for me. You need to see my heart is yours and only yours, that all of me is yours and only yours and that is how I want it to be. I am waiting for the moment I see you again because all I want is for you to hold me and kiss me and us to be happy again together. That would be the greatest thing, knowing you love me and feeling that you do. I need to know you do, I need to feel it.
Everything I ever said I have meant. I am sorry for the stress I have caused you. I never meant to be the cause of anything other than happiness in your life. I look back now and I see how crazy I was but sometimes I get so excited about things that I say things or do things I don't really mean, but don't we all sometimes. I just wanted to know you were there and you loved me. I was crazy to think that you would do something to hurt me when you loved me. I was wrong and I am sorry. Know that. And know that I am still here, I am still waiting and I am still loving you, nothing will change that. You are what I want more than you know. I love you and you still have my heart, and now its up to you what you do with it. I hope you make the right choice. Now that we are talking again don't stop. It was killing me not talking to you every day. I miss that. It was so good hearing your voice. It made me smile. I miss smiling. I miss being happy. Most of all I miss you. I love you!
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.
Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over. |
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| I gues the blame is on me.... |
[Nov. 21st, 2006|03:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt at school | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Pain"-- Three Days Grace | ] |
One mistake....
One mistake and I have lost everything...
One mistake that love can't conquer and so I am left alone...
One mistake that I wish I could undo because if I had the chance to go back I would have never done it, things would be different.
I have one regret and that one regret will live with me forever because it cost me so much.
I wish you would understand what happened, what I was going through, why I did what I did. My decision was not based on anything you did, anything you said, any way you acted toward me...you were amazing to me and it hurt me a lot to just walk away from that without any explanation. So now I will explain because as many times as I have apologized and told you it had nothing to do with you, you still don't understand....so listen now.
On July 16, 2004, my whole world stopped in an instant and my life changed. Something that I thought never would ever happen to me did, and when it did, I thought my life was over and nothing would ever be the same again. For 2 1/2 years I spent every day, every minute of my life that I could with Burt. He was all I knew and I wanted. I loved him more than anything and I thought he was it, he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with, and that was ok because that was what I wanted. He was my life. I always heard that life was short but I never thought it meant his would be. The day I got the call that he was gone, I couldn't breath, I couldnt move, I just wanted to disappear, to be gone too. I was so angry. I was angry at him for leaving me, I was angry at myself for not doing something to save him, and I was angry at God because how could he take something so important to me away. He had to know that I couldn't survive without him. From that point on I was just a zombie moving through each day, wanting to just wake up one morning and realize it was just a bad nightmare I had and he was still here and I was going to be ok, but deep down I knew it wasn't. I spent a year of my life not really allowing myself to believe what happened, not really allowing myself to heal. There was never a time to grief. I went back to life as it was before, just now without him, because that is how everyone wanted it. Megan could handle it because she was strong. Little did they know really I couldn't. I had everyone telling me it would get better but I couldn't see how. I realize now I didn't want to allow it to get better because if it did, that meant that he was really gone. Here I was alone and without the only thing I knew for the last 2 1/2 years, and no one could truly see what I was going through.
When that next summer came I was thrown back into reality. At school I really didn't have to face it much but being back at home there were all the memories. It was all thrown right back in my face again. There was no one there for me. I felt so alone, so sad...that is the worst feeling in the world. I tried and tried to handle it all but I just couldn't. So I left. I was selfish and self-centered and did not take a second to really think about what I was doing to each and every person in my life. I just wanted out. I wanted away so I wouldn't be hurting anymore. I was severely depressed but I didn't want to admit that to anyone because that would make me weak and I was always told I had to be the strong one. I couldn't cry because I was suppose to be over everything and moving on. He was gone and I should get over it. I had no one to talk to so I hid everything inside, put on a smile, and acted like I was happy to be alive when deep down I was hurting so bad that there were times I didn't want to get up and face the world. There was an aching i had inside and I didn't know how to make it stop...I wanted it to go away but it wouldn't. Being at home, feeling all alone, not knowing what to do, around all those memories, I couldn't handle it. It made me hurt worst. Instead of dealing with my problem I took the cowards way out and just ran away from it. I thought I would be happy as long as I got away from the place that hurt me the most, but as I look back now I wasn't happier,I was just avoiding it all.
That summer I met you and I was scared because I truly never thought that after Burt I would find someone who liked me again. I thought he was my only chance and now that he was gone, I was going to be alone but I was wrong. You were the only thing that made me happy that summer. Being around you I was able to have fun and laugh and smile and forget about everything that was hurting me for just a little while. I needed that so much and you gave it to me, whether you knew it or not. You were so sweet to me and treated me so well and all that scared me more than anything b/c I feared getting into a relationship. I didn't want to get my heart broken again because I wasn't even done healing it yet from before. It was hard to trust anyone, still is but I am working on it. Relationships, at that time, to me, meant a way of getting hurt and I didn't need anymore of that. That is why I might have been pushing you away some. I didn't want you to get too close. That is not why I left though, I left b/c I was hurting, b/c I was depressed and didn't want to be in that town anymore and see everything that reminded me of him. I wanted all the pain, the tears, the sadness to go away and leaving was my solution. I can't apologize enough for what I did. I hurt you immensely and I realize that. I wasn't honest with you. I wasn't honest with anyone. I thought about you a lot while I was gone and I felt so terrible for what I did. You weren't the only one who didn't get a phone call that I was leaving, no one did. I knew if I told people they would stop me and i didn't want that. Being severely depressed makes you make decisions that seem right at the time but aren't really. I regret what I did. I hurt my family, my friends, and most importantly you. You did nothing to deserve what I did and for that I will always be sorry. I came back because I woke up one day and realized that what I was doing was stupid. I had so many people who cared about me and loved me and I let them down. I came back to mend my relationships and face the music. I came back thinking and knowing you hated me and I wanted to show you I was sorry and make you see that I did care because I do.
You weren't crazy for taking me back, I promise. I have learned from my mistakes and it is never going to happen again. I have no reason to leave. I can't go back and change what I did or I would. Things would be so different. All I can do is not live in the past and try to make my future better. Thats what I am trying to do and I wanted that future to have you in it. I am happy and trying to fix everything. I have so many people who love me and have forgiven me and our willing to give me a second chance, so why can't you. I don't know what I have to do for you to see that I am sorry. You are not a last resort. I didn't leave because I wanted away from you. I love you so much. You have to be able to forgive me completely or you will never stop second guessing yourself. I never thought I could or would fall in love with someone ever again but then I met you. You brought so much hope and love back into my life and I needed that so much. You are what I wanted more than anything. Knowing that you still hate me so much for what I did and all the things you said the other night, hurts me so much.I cried so much after reading what u said because it is not true. You aren't stupid. You arent crazy. I want you to be able to forgive me and show me you love me as much as you say you do. I only get upset because I love you and want to know that you want me and love me. I want to have your attention and know u are there and missing me as much as I do you. I am sorry. Don't give up on me. Don't just walk away. I lost you once I don't want to lose you again. Being with you makes me so happy and being away from you, especially now, it hurts so bad. I wish I knew what to do to make you see how important you are to me. No one else matters to me. I have spent the last few days sitting here, wishing you would call and say you were sorry and you miss me and love me and want to be back where you belong, with me. Relationships are never perfect but if you truly love each other you can work through anything. I wish I was there with you, I do, but I can't be right now but you have to learn to trust me and know that I would never do something to jeopardize us again. I love you and I am sorry. Please know that. That is all I can say and do. Please try to understand.
"No one else will have me like you do, No one else will have me only you" |
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| Its gone... |
[Nov. 16th, 2006|02:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
Why does love hurt so much? How many times can my heart be broken until it just gives up?
I guess one mistake is going to make me lose it all.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2006|05:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my apt at school | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Want to" -- Sugarland | ] |
I love this picture so I just thought I would share. It makes me so happy! Its been awhile since I have updated. I am a busy women, what else is knew haha. Of course life isn't perfect but when is it. I can say this, I am a lot happier than I was last time this year. I am in love with someone who knows how to make me smile and makes me happy each time I am with him. I constantly wonder how I am so lucky to have him back in my life after all the mistakes I have made in our relationship. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, and I am so thankful that he was able to give it to me and I was able to make things better. Of course it will take some time for everything to completely heal but it is getting better. I can only say I am sorry and I never meant to hurt anyone the way I did, and I mean that. I can promise that I am never going anywhere again. I have no reason to leave. I have found where I want to be and plan on staying there forever if he lets me. Who would have imagined I would fall in love with someone I barely knew a year ago. Its weird how things work but I am glad they worked the way they did. It is amazing to wake up each morning knowing I am loved. I missed that so much and it was a feeling I thought for awhile I would never experience again. Thank you Ryan for loving me and never giving up on me. You will never know how much it means to me. No matter what stupid fight we go through or how "upset" I may say I am, I will always love you and never want to lose you. I promise.
Ok enough of the lovey, dovey stuff...I realize I just made half of you ill but hey that is part of my life so deal. :P So I have 4 more weeks of classes left and a week of finals. School has been going really well, a lot better than last semester. I am more focused than before because I really want to accomplish my goal and I will. I am going to take the MCATs in January so that means a lot of studying over Christmas break but it will be worth it. I am kind of nervous about it but as long as I am prepared I know I will do great. Say a prayer for me if you will. Can't wait for this semester to be over with though because it has kept me busy. I have a job at a grocery store down here where I have been working for a little bit longer than a month. I only work on the weekends which is nice in some ways and stinks in others but I got to make that money so it works. I am ready for break and to be able to spend 3 weeks at home with my family, Ryan, and my friends. It will be great except for the fact I will be working at Wally World the whole time and studying but I am sure I will have lots of fun inbetween. Always got to make room for that. I love Christmas, especially the presents haha It is such a pretty time. Can't wait!!
Well that is all I got really. Nothing too thrilling but what can you expect out of my life lol I had no classes today but had to take a stupid assessment test which was a waste of time and has no affect on me whatsoever but I have to take it. So dumb! But least I had no classes and got to spend the day being lazy which is my favorite thing lol I am always so motivated! ha Well I must go study some and accomplish something useful. I will try to be more faithful on here but no promises. Until next time...peace! |
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| Welcome back.... |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|12:24 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my bedroom in my apt | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the fan blowing ha | ] |
I have officially returned to Evansville as of today and I start class on Monday, oh what fun! I am glad to be back but I miss some people at home, you know who you are...miss you the most babe, love u! :) Everything will be ok and I am not going anywhere I promise...I am right where I want to be.
I am so worn out from moving in it is crazy. what a workout lol I didn't feel like doing anything tonight but laying down and sleeping. I am a party pooper I know, it is only the first day I got plenty of time haha I have 4 classes and 3 labs this semester so that should be interesting. I really don't think they will be too bad especially since all of them are dealing with my major, stuff I actually enjoy. I got to get awesome grades these last 3 semesters, wish me luck! I will graduate in Dec '07 so a year and a half left. Hope this school year goes great :)
Well I am off to bed. More later when I am not so tired. Night and sweet dreams. |
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| Its been awhile... |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|01:12 am] |
Wow so I am way behind in updating. I am too lazy and too busy all at the same time to do it but here is a little bit of one for all who care lol
- I am still happy and in love...lucky me :) I have the greatest bf, Ryan, and I love spending time with him. I am so glad we got a second chance. It is so funny when people ask how long we have been together his response is a year and a half with a few speed bumps haha what a dork! I am going to be sad when I have to leave him behind when I go to school but he is going to come visit so that will be wonderful. I am loving being in a relationship and knowing I have someone who loves me and cares about me and needs only me. That is the best. Love you! Ok I am done with the gooshy stuff lol
- Sat. night was a trip. Don't remember much of it but boy was it fun until about 3 am when everything came back up lol Thank God for Colby cause she took care of me. That is a true friend right there. I luv her! There was some funny shit that went down that night and it was good to just chill and relax and have fun. I need those nights. Needless to say I didn't feel so good the next day...so bad lol
-I have two weeks left at Super Walmart until I am done there for awhile. Going to transfer to the Evansville store so I can still make money. Got to have that money!
- I leave for school August 26 which is coming quickly. I am ready to go back because I miss my friends from down there but I am sad to leave b/c I am leaving Ryan behind along with Colby and Linz and Sarah. It has been an awesome summer a lot better than last summer in C'ville, what part I spent here. I am glad I stayed this summer because it was great hanging out with everybody. I am going to miss them!
- I have a roommate this year which is kind of depressing but she is awesome and I am glad I am rooming with her and not the new freshman girl that is moving in. She looks nice and everything but I would rather room with someone I know. Should turn out to be a fun year. Hopefully this new girl is cool.
Well that is all I got that is exciting I guess. Nothing too amazing. Of course there is a lot more fun stories from this summer but I am not typing them all out haha So if you want to hang before I leave then call me. I don't have too much time left. I am off to bed now. Night and sweet dreams. |
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| I am still here... |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:31 am] |
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I am VERY happy. I am still in C'ville when this time last year I wasn't. I was gone. Never thought I would say this but this is where I want to be right now. I am with who I want to be with and life is great. I love being able to smile. Nothing is better. YAY for my life getting better. Well that is all for tonight. Its brief but I will update more later. Sweet dreams and good night |
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| Update Time... |
[Jun. 25th, 2006|11:03 pm] |
So It has been a bit since I have updated so here it goes...
-Basically Walmart is like my second home but it is money...I enjoy people watching b/c you definitely see some interesting ones...I get a good laugh
-Had some good times with some old friends the last couple of weekends and of course what fun is life without drama lol...some know what I am talking about but hey you got to do what you got to do
-I am so happy right now...I am so glad things are looking up...I have a reason to smile :)
-I get my hair cut and colored on Tuesday which I am very excited about...don't know what all I am going to do but it is going to be fun...hopefully it turns out looking beautiful
-I go on vacation in less than 2 weeks...a whole entire week with all my family in Michigan, this could be interesting..wish me luck
-Been playing softball every Tuesday and Thursday and we have only lost 2 times and that was b/c the other team got lucky ha...we are the team to beat, we kick ass!!
-Found out my best bud at USI is moving to California the 30th and I am so upset..I didn't get to say goodbye and I will be lost without her...I don't want her to go....I will miss her like crazy :( and heart her forever!!
-Hoping to have an awesome 4th of July b/c I lucked out and got the day off somehow...go me!!...either going to Carmel or partying it up here in C'ville...we will see what happens
Well that is all I got for you right now. I got to work tomorrow, surprise, surprise, so I am off to bed. Sweet Dreams!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2006|02:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | computer room of course | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "On Again Tonight"--Trent Willmon | ] |
Here is an update....I don't know what to do. Just when there is a small glimpse of hope, it seems its gone and soon as it appeared. Might have messed up saying anything, who knows. I hate feeling like this. Maybe I should just give up though I haven't even really tried but right now its not looking too good. Life sucks...what else is new lol I need more excitement in my life so I could forget all my troubles that would be nice. Guess we will just see what happens.... |
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angeleyez_03's journal
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